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“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”

~Chinese Proverb


Rick and I are just back from a weekend getaway.

It’s amazing how refreshed we feel from just a few short days out of our routine. We are ready to once again engage in our respective worlds of work and everything else that seems to keep us stirred up.


We took time to breathe long, nurturing breaths.

We ate delicious food.

We napped.

We laughed.

We explored.

And perhaps most important, we remembered who we are. Who we really are.


How about you?

Is it time for a respite from the world?

Mija, our aging, sweet little earless cat will tell you that you don’t even need to leave home. A cozy bed and a blanket overhead will do nicely.

I’ve only had the pleasure of sharing my life with Bud and Pepper for twenty years, but I’ve been in love with horses for much longer. Over the course of my life, I’ve been to a variety of stables and horse operations to get my “horse fix.”

Sometimes those dear sweet working class horses, the ones who stand saddled all day, every day, ready to take the next batch of customers on the trail, get fed up with their job.

They tire of having riders with little to no horse experience kicking them in the ribs and yelling giddy up, when they have absolutely no idea what to do if the horse actually took off in a full gallop.

And what do these horses do to retaliate?

They head to the barn at every turn.

I’ve been on barn sour horses. They indeed have a bag full of tricks to get themselves, and you, back to the comfort of the barn.

It’s a little test of who is really in control.

Many times, it was painfully clear that of the two of us, I was not the one in control.

So lately I’ve been thinking about the term “barn sour,” and have decided that it’s happening to me.

I find that I want to spend more and more time in my home. I don’t think I’ve become a recluse, but more accurately a person tired of the stress of going and doing.

I rationalize that I’m being more discerning.

And maybe that’s true.

I am learning to listen to my heart and say “no” more often, when I really don’t want to do something.

Is that being barn sour or healthy?

Honestly, I’m still not sure.

Putting myself first isn’t easy for me. There’s that responsibility/guilt thing. The feeling that I’m letting someone down.

Yet the truth is, when I say yes to something I don’t really want to do, I let myself down.


I thought I would have figured this out by this time in my life. But no, I’m still working on it.

How about you?

Is this something you struggle with?

In this fast-paced life, could we all do with being a bit more barn sour?

P.S. I hate to link this to an issue of aging, but…

Is it?



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